The Adventures of the Kludge

Feeding the Beast

‘Tis I, the unnamed. A short recount is in order. When we last spoke, we were in Riverhaven. Since then we have gone back to Tear, leaving our less frequently used magic items for the use of those who need them most. Laura wants to gather them all together and celebrate a sort of holiday. more information will come as we hear it. After a nights rest, Zoro put on one of her marvelous building performances and made the shipyard and canal ship worthy again. that Lyre of his is really proving to be a worthwhile investment.
We said our goodbyes to the sisters and the artisans who had restored the castle, and traveled back up to Riverhaven to see if we could… ’influence’ the nobles. A shameful display of lies and falsehoods by Zoro. Casseio was truthful as ever, power to him and his, well, unorthodox religion.
at any rate, it seems that the Armour craftsmen are more willing to return to tear under the illegitimate prose of mister Zoro. I had no idea a body so frail could eat as much food as Castor did.
Casseio gleaned a deal with Terreth of Riverhaven: to take the currency he offered us and to chase down the Hobgoblins and recover the Sal Validoran Shields. We tacked our horses and set off the next morning.
The journey was fairly uneventful, just fields and fields of wild grass for miles. At last, nearing Evening a few nights later under Casseio’s Abnormal Standard, we could see the trees. What we couldn’t see was the oversized and rabid goblin tiger that made a finger food out of Casseio’s Equestrian mount. I saw something i hadn’t seen for a long time that day. Casseio’s blood. fortunatly for casseio [not so for the cat] Regal was there to emit his standard ‘cloud of blood’ maneuver, quickly ending the conflict. i hope those things don’t nest here.
We entered the forest and trapped around aimlessly for hours, before those of us gifted with dark sight saw the Wolf. we couldn’t get a good look at it, it would move as soon as we turned our heads. it reappeared later when it was too dark even for Regal to see. Zoro and Myself could still catch the shape that was dark against pure darkness in the woods. He even waved at it.
Anyways, we fled the woods in hopes that the wolf would not attack us if we left. we got out of the woods okay, and made camp. Zoro’s watch was when the wolf made it’s reappearance, or so Regal says. I was asleep. Zoro tells me that he used her ability to detect thoughts, and was stunned at the mental capacity this creature had. Only Castor nodded in understanding at some of the things described. Zoro proceeded to tell the wolf a story to appease it’s ill will towards our presence, and it slunk away near dawn and the end of Zoro’s tale, it’s thoughts of a calmer nature.
So our dilemma presents itself. Do we continue to feed the beast, or do we starve ourselves of its mysteries?
~the Unnamed, entitled Marble.

Riverhaven, Journey's Beginning?

*Party arrives, in its entirety in Riverhaven
*Armor crafters allow admittance to western side with weapons due to party’s service as guards.
*Return to Aur’Uhm’Ahn’s shop to find it damaged and surrounded with guards and city watch.
*Spoke to Temple and learned that Cassieo isn’t actually dead, but in some kind of stasis or coma.
*When passing through the Citadel, the party notices that the shields and spears found after their initial shipwreck are identical to the ones used by the Riverhaven military.
*Granted audience with General Terreth, an aging, sickly looking man whom asked about your incidents with the shields/spears, hobgoblins and bugbears.
*He introduced you to his elder sister, Luneria, feeding small animals in the park. She agreed to look at Cassieo and attempt to return his soul to his body. The assistance of Nameless was requested.
*Rydia and Regal snuck into Aur’Uhm’Ahn’s shop to investigate what happened. They found the shop keeper was killed, leaving the shop itself unguarded. Unable to contain their kleptomania, they steal half items in the store and tote it away in a pair of bags of holding.

Delivered in 30 minutes or less...
Upon waking in the morning they were greeted by the innkeeper handing them a message asking them to bring the chest to Aur’Uhm’Ahn’s shop. They arrived, finding a young woman wandering the store, picking up random items off the shelves and asking the shop keeper,in innocently curious tones, as to what each item did before picking up another item, almost before he gave his explanation, and asking what it did as well, obviously to the annoyance of the keeper. His expression lifted upon their entering, and then even further upon seeing what they held. They explained all of the difficulties in their journey, including the death of their comrades at the hand of The Deceiver. Concerned with their stories, the keeper said that Aur’Uhm’Ahn would want to hear all the details, but that he was indisposed for several days as his responsibilities had placed him elsewhere. The chest was taken off their hands, the delivery finally complete. They both agreed they should rejoin the party, incase they came upon any additional hazards. A number of swift horses rented from a city stable hasted them along their path towards the rest of their party.
Riverhaven, Journey's End
Zoro watched as the flying black terror that had murdered two of her friends disappeared in the distance. As she readjusted herself on the small vessel, pain twinged through her wounds. Wounds that had nearly proven fatal. At the thought, Zoro found her eyes drift towards the back of the vessel where the bodies of both Cassieo and Castor lay slumped over the chest both had given their lives to protect. Was the price they paid worth its contents? It certainly wasn’t worth the wealth they’d been given to ensure its safety; wealth that had seemed excessive at the time. The poor, wounded look on Regal’s face showed that his pain mirrored her own. The shoreline flew by quickly as the swift boat ate up the remaining distance to Riverhaven, covering in hours what would have taken another two days for the slow moving caravan. Long before they could see the outline of the city Regal spotted a thin, tall shape arose from the center of the river. Curious, a trait common to his race, Regal asked Zoro what it could be. Zoro, seeminly glad to be asked, explained it belonged to the great island citadel of Riverhaven; one of the strongest fortresses that had held the vast Formian hordes at bay. She seamlessly transitioned to the telling of various stories which seemed to help them forget that their two friends had been slain only a few hours before, lightening both their moods. The stories lasted a few minutes until they pulled up to the pier to unload where they were brashly rejected by the deck guards, taken as more starving refugees from Rear. The two guided the boat further north along the shoreline and stealthily docked it against one of the shorter riverwalls. Zoro agreed that Regal, being the stealthier of the two, should be the one to quietly search out a healer to tend to their fallen comrades. A little exploring, and some heavy lifting, later they found themselves at an inn with directions to Aur’Uhm’Ahn’s magic shop and a temple with a healer willing to look at their friends on the morning.
A Friend of Aur'Hum'Ahn's
There were two.

Here I am, the one without a name. Three days from Riverhaven. One could guess where Zoro, Regal, that… Wizard… Castor. that’s his name. I have no idea where they have gone. all I know is that they have left by boat, and have taken Aur’Hum’Ahn’s Blasted chest, and what is left of Casseio with them. I will march the final three days with the armour convoy, and hope that my companions are alive when I arrive. The crossbowman’s name i have not heard, but here he remains with me too.

Let us go over what has transpired recently, shall we? Yesterday, some White Rose order came and ‘abominations of nature’ throughout the convoy. Luckily for us, Casseio, Gods rest his soul, was quick of wit and word. From their story, anything not human or greater wasn’t pure of body or soul. Without my Utopian heritage and Casseio’s excellent leadership, they would have skinned Zoro, Castor and Regal. One man was different, he unnerved even I. Dressed with his rosebud closed and vine thorny, unlike the flowering motif of the rest, Zoro identified him to me as an Extremist. I must be Weary of this Organization in the future.

Nearing a Tower one day later, our mood was relaxed. we were nearly there, after all. Regal was doing his thing, a few hundred feet ahead of the group. He’s amazing at hiding, you know. Casseio had just made a joke about the Awesomeness of himself, when a white sliver of bone fell from the sky, piercing him in the chest. My medical knowledge told me the wound was fatal. I drew my spear and shield, as pain washed over every orifice of my body. A demonic voice rang through our ears. ‘Proceed no further. your Wizard friend sends puny scrubs like you to do his bidding, does he? his protection has failed you. Leave the chest, and you will not have to die. approach further, and i shall bring the legions of hell to kill you where you stand.’ Unacceptable. I invoked the Judge, the deity i have proved my ancestor. His power flowed through me. I began to march forward, prepared to incur this heathen’s wrath in vengeance to Casseio. My friends did the wise thing. They ran with the chest, after being blasted with lightning from somewhere near the tower. I felt so indestructible… For about ten seconds, I moved towards the tower. then the voice came again. ‘now, that isn’t smart. now you will die!’ From the top of the tower came a figure, flying without wings. I will never understand arcane Magic. We closed into spell range, and I Channeled the spirits of the Utopia, Spouting from my own mouth a string of Powerful Words I’ve never heard nor read. I knew their meaning however, and realized i was speaking in infernal. I think I had just told the man that his devils were of no use to him, for I am the master of all. Whatever i said, it unnerved him. His electricity spell seemed to miss entirely. He was still too far away for me to bring him to the ground. It was now that i spotted Regal in the grass along the roadside. his claws were ready to rend any powerful wizards that happened to fall out of the sky. Dodging a few more badly aimed spells, i had him within range. I further invoked my ancestry, and Cast their power towards the flying wizard. Focusing on his eyes, i let the power free. He is an incredibly lucky individual. at this point, his eagle decided it’s a nice day for a completely non magical flight. My concentration was broken, and the spell took it’s full effect on the Bird. Poor bird. My careless lack of concentration also managed to mingle with the primal forces that control the weather, as it seems. A bolt of lightning came from out of the blue, striking the wizard, like a miracle. He fell like a boulder, and right into the razor sharp claws of Regal. a Furious cloud of blood immediately erupted from the wizard as Regal proceeded to leave no skin on the wizard. i tried my best to continue to blast the wizard into the ground with waves of sound. Regal froze his fury of claws for a few seconds, as his fingers appeared to be caught on something. Then the body vanished. Regal ran back towards the river, and I saw nothing more but the Massive ring of lightning, and a fleeing ship. after a few more seconds of running towards the beach, i heard the voice yell ‘I will be coming back, and next time, I will be irrefutable!’ Good blessings of Utopia to my companions aboard the L.F.B. Zoro’s Plan B. On to Riverhaven, we March!

Horns in the Fog

Starday, Sarenith 30th

We have been traveling for days. Though this magical banner from Aur’Uhm’Ahn has allowed us to travel further than normal, the travel has still been slow going. As all the beasts in Tear have already been slaughtered for meat, men are forced to carry this shipment on their backs or on push carts. While camping at one of the abandoned watch-towers on the road, we heard sounds of horns blowing in the pre-dawn fog. The horns were blowing from, seemingly, all around us. I sent Regal and Drexel, another useful citizen with an aptitude for stealth, off into the thick mists to investigate. They came back with reports of hostile hobgoblins. Though Zoro tells me that there’s been a long standing peace with the hobgoblins since the bug wars, I’m uneasy about trusting our fate to them. It could be that the recent unpleasantness in Tear has caused them to become opportunistic and violent against us once again.

We decided after some deliberation to make haste and advance through the fog and past their lines, fighting if we had to. When we reached their forces, the tensions seemed to be too great and hostilities commenced. Their commander shouted something that gave me pause. Perhaps they were not lurking in the fog to attack us, but this was just some ill-timed coincidence. We gave them parley, ceased hostilities, and healed the wounds we had caused. I gave the commander a potion of bull’s strength in penance for our transgression, and we left them to their maneuvers.

I pray this is the most excitement we will see along the trail. The longing to be rid of this mage’s box is great, for it is a great target for us. All these peasants are vulnerable while we carry it, though if our ruse is successful then those who seek it shall not know of its passing.

Regal's Notes
The Long Hard Climb to the Top

After the encounter with the Kobolds, we had Food! (Pterodectyl to boot!) to feed the hungry masses. The party decided to move on to the next tower (more defensible position!) before indulging. Just having a meal available seemed motivating. The people were talking and laughing. laughing! I heard laughter for the first time since the journey to Riverhaven began. I decided to join in the merriment, rather than scout ahead, as per usual. A mistake I will never make again. It was only a second I’d let down my guard, an arrow from the upcoming tower hit the ground, just missing Cassieo. however, another had flown true, ans struck Nameless. Instantly, joy turned back in to pain, then to panic. Only Cassieo, Nameless, Zoro, Castor and I stood, able to hold our own. My instincts told me to charge the tower before the archers could pick us off. Zoro and Castor followed, at the slower pace i would expect of people who only run on two limbs… Anyways, Soon after I had reached the tower, I heard Cassieo and Nameless cry out “four more!”. I looked back and saw Nameless get rammed through by an insanely large falchion, and then proceed to ram his equally large spear through another bugbear. Cassieo changed to save his friend from another scar with his shield glowing and with bravery I have only seen equaled by Cassieo himself. Nameless had dropped the spear and now wielded his sword, as the bugbears had closed in on the pair of Aasimar. I wanted to watch their skill as both my friends drew blood on the new threat. but I was startled back to my task by the sight of a volley of arrows and the distant cry if pain from Castor. Needing to take out the artillery threat, I climbed the tower. ‘four archers and a’ I had called, just as a wave of pure sound knocked me back off the top of the wall, my body hitting the stone floor one story below. an arrow followed, and the world went black again!. Next thing i remember was Zoro, standing over a bloody mass of fur and blood that was my mangled, unconscious body. I failed the party again I can do nothing right. I looked down seeing Nameless shielding Castor’s prone lifeless body, the blood still dropping from both their wounds. Casseio, running to our aid, skirted past another cascade of arrows, one drumming his shield and nearly missing the fleshy part of his neck. I have to make it up top and stop this! Zoro then yelled out words of affront, wrath and indignation….If anyone tells you that words don’t hurt, ask those bugbears. instantly I smelled burning flesh. Using that distraction I climbed the tower. Zoro, with some effort, grappled up with her trusty whip. Once the both of us had ascended, the bugbear blood flowed red and their spirit to fight was shattered. Casseio used his silver tongue and negotiated a ceasefire, and the cowards dropped their weapons and ran.

Casseio has started to cook the Pterodactyl and Zoro is telling the story of the battle. Nameless is healing people and Castor is studying. The people’s morale has started to rise again. I am not in the mood to eat. I will go keep guard. I’m tired but I am not looking forward to sleep. These nightmares are persistent and disturbing. Nameless told me he may be able to help…I hope so.

Villian Trapped! Villian Escaped!

Moonday, Sarenith 24th (evening)

With a bit of divine guidance, we’ve located the source of evil and corruption in this district. Another local inn was playing host to Aesth’rith and his minions of mayhem. Nameless and I waited at the bar while Regal and Ang snuck down into the basement. After waiting one minute, Nameless summoned several prancing ponies to distract the bar patrons. We made our way down under cover of chaoes. In the bowels, we discovered the black heart of this vile organization. We easily dispatched the orcish guard, who was naked and entertaining two young women. Ang and I then broke down the door into the inner sanctum.

The fight that followed was epic indeed, and no amount of penmanship will do it true justice. During the fighting, Ang gave his life for our noble cause. As the reaper’s blade was swinging wildly through the air, he fell on it to save my life. He shall be missed.

After the bloodbath in the basement, Aesth’rith, vile tiefling and agent of evil, made his escape! We pursued him up the stairs and into the tavern’s common area. There, he was joined in battle by several of his lieutenants. Though the battle was fierce, we managed to defeat much of his forces. In the end, that criminal did escape across the bridge.

We’ve managed to set up a perimeter of sorts, and guards are on the look-out for that tiefling. The inn itself has been confiscated and given to those that lost their inn recently in an act of forced penance.

In the morning, we march for Riverhaven with the goods the armorer has warehoused and the package from Aur’Uhm’Ahn.

Hunting for Villians

Moonday, Sarenith 24th

The Unnamed has spent much of his day in toil, making a seemingly endless supply of tindertwigs, as a laborer’s mourning. Regal has gone to contact Aur’Uhm’Ahn and get what supplies are available. Ang is speaking with his order to see if he can gain more aid. Zoro is trying to track down the cowards that burned down the inn. Myself, I am trying to drown my sorrow in mundane tasks of organizing the castle staff and our New Order.

This morning, Nameless has called upon the divine to speak with the remains of our friend, the brewmaster. His ghostly voice told us much of use: he didn’t know where he was taken and killed, but sounds of revelry were heard not far off. I leave at once with what companions I can muster to investigate a nearby tavern and brothel. May the gods watch over our noble quest.

Fire and Head

Starday, Sarenith 23rd

Divine rage hath become my being. I breathe not a breath that does not yearn to slay thee, Villain. On this morn, before holy sun raise it’s light of heaven, I did see the fires of hell burn yon friendly inn.

In the ashes of the Corrupter’s destruction, a solitary box of wicker did lay. With caution we approached, but it bared nothing more dangerous than a head, and a message. The basket of woe did contain the mortal visage of a friend most dear. Brave brew-master, citizen of the people, martyr of the downtrodden, had his life untimely taken. The message, one of vile threats and grim promise. Signed with malice and hatred most foul, the name of my foe.



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